Whaddaya Know... Energy DOES Change...

Two weirds things in the same day.

(1) My new co-worker actually confided a bit of personal confidence with me today, and wanted to know my honest opinion/advice. And she, a pastor's wife. That's not something people generally do with me, especially if they are religious. Asking ME advice? I am not "religious". That usually turns people off, being that I live in the Bible belt. (I AM spiritual... though some folks abhor that description, it offends their religious belief system, somehow, annoys them.) As a general rule, it's me who's usually sharing personal stuff and asking advice. I determined when I arrived at my knew place, however, that I wasn't going to confide about my personal life... not my spirituality, not my political views, nor any personal stuff about my life or my family's life. I've said very little about myself, and asked even less, regarding other people's business. Amazingly, some just jabber on and on, telling me unbelievable bits of info. The first time this happened, I thought to myself, "She's a lot like me, very trusting and totally open." But, that used to be me. I'm not trusting anymore, nor open, after the screwed up way my previous work place treated me. I told that to someone at my previous work place, and they thought that was sad, to have lost trust. It's not really a bad thing, I've always been waaay too open... waaay too trusting... waaay too naive. 55 is way too old for naivety. Besides, I kinda like having secrets about myself... and it leaves less room for judgments to be made against/about me.

(2) My previous co-worker told my significant other that she misses me, because, she said, I'm always so level headed and she misses having that around. I've never known anyone, before, who might have referred to be as being "level headed". The closest to that was my niece telling me, when I was raising my kids, that I was "so paitent with them." As it turns out, I was too slack with them. But, I was a kid raising kids... not so much chronologically, as emotionally. She also told me that I was "so strong"... when, really, I was too weak to make changes, and was forced to endure the results of the decisions I'd made. I guess that can make you strong, if it doesn't kill you.

Perhaps things haven't always been as screwed up (me) as I've thought, about myself. I've been described, in the past, as having been "free spirited"... I never really felt free, however, until I suddenly wasn't free...

... I've also been described, more recently, as being "laid back and easy going"... this, from someone who described my brother (the preacher) as being, "a lot like me"... "real laid back and easy going"...

A therapist once told me that I had a very strong spirit about me.

Why is it that... if I'm so patient and free, strong and free spirited... and level headed... that I always end up... entangled in confusion.

The times... "they are a changin"...