What Next... and Thank Goodness...

While waiting for his final court date, coming up this coming week... and that will be the day he marches off to The Big House... what else could possibly go wrong? Everything, for me, is always right down to the wire... and everything seems to be just out of my control... struggle, struggle, struggle... all upstream paddling... so, what could possible be worse than that?

Well, my baby boy had a brain tumor when he was two years old. The successful surgery was followed by 25 (or 30) radiation treatments. As he grew, in years, he would have a 40% hearing loss in one ear. He would also become somewhat stunted, emotionally... as well as intellectually. But we didn't really talk about it, because, after all, we believed in miracles and that we "have what we say"... we confessed, mightily, that he was healed. And I still believe that, as much as I can, which is much less than I did back then... because we can't ignore facts.

Twenty one years, later, he would have a re-occurrence of that brain tumor. This time, no radiation... because, they said, had they known, then, what they do know now, regarding his particular type of tumor, they would never have given him the radiation. In fact, I now read that radiation on children is not even recommended, unless it is absolutely necessary, and then only if they are 3 years of age or older. He was only two. Cancer cells are rapidly growing cells... radiation targets those rapidly growing cells, if I am reading the info right... yet, children's cells are always rapidly growing... so, there is much danger in irradiating small children. Studies, which compared groups of children, years after tumor removal and radiation therapy... against groups of children who had tumor removal and did not have radiation... showed that all the children who had radiation treatments did not fare as well as those who never took the radiation. Those irradiated all had emotional problems, as well as cognitive developmental problems. Beyond the fact that my son has hearing loss, emotional issues, and dropped out of school... he's also had problems with not being able to wake up, in the mornings... and feeling tired and fatigued all the time. I do believe these issues are all directly related to his previous cancers and the horrible radiation that he received.

Well, now he has an ugly abscess that has appeared in the exact location of where his shunt drain tube exited the back of his head. I took him to the emergency room (because he has no regular physician and we don't have time to wait for appointments, here, seeing as time is not on our side). Unfortunately, I let my mother escort him and all of the information was not properly relayed to the attending physician. Granted, my son did, at least, tell them that he had, previously, had cancer, he didn't bother to point out the fact that the abscess has occurred in the exact spot as where the drain to the shunt was located. HIs given two scripts for two different antibiotics (standard procedure) and told to follow up in two weeks. I"m not happy, but what can I do. During the course of days, I manage to get copies of his old medical records, from the last surgery, 11 years ago. Lucky, as they said they are usually destroyed after 10 years. I was also able to get an appointment set up with a neurologist, one who took the place of his previous neurologist. I was not, however, able to get a date set up in time for him to be seen before his final court date. In the meantime, he gets busy taking his meds and it appears, at first, that the swelling is going down. Then again, that only appears to be the case, for a few days, then it goes back to the previous appearance.

Two weeks go by and we're off to the emergency room, again, for his re-check. This time, I accompany him, and it's a different doc who checks him. He's surprised that the meds have not worked and, after sharing the information regarding the location of the abscess, the fact that it is in the location of the previous shunt, he was even more surprised that he had not been "referred out", on his first visit. "No," I tell him, "they only told him to follow-up in two weeks." He wants us to see Dr. Dilllon, a local neurosurgeon... which is a step up from the neurologist who would have been seeing him. Now my motherly heart is feeling better, because now things are being taken as seriously as I take them, regarding all this. The neurosurgeon's office is just up the street, in the wound care building. Though I have not asked, ahead of time, and gotten things set up with the monitor company (he has to wear a GPS monitor), I head straight there, since we do have permission for movement, at least, seeing as we had to have permission, 24 hours in advance, for his visits to the ER . Once there, I'm shocked and surprised that they set him an appointment up for the very next day. Now we are talking! This was on Tuesday. He actually sees the neurosurgeon on Wednesday and they seem to think it may just be a hair follicle abscess... but, since he's had no scans/x-rays done, recently, just to be sure, the doc writes a script to have all that done. Now, I'm praying. All I want is to just get all this done before he leaves, seeing as his public defender doesn't really want to even try to change his court date (which we previously thought was going to be this coming Monday). I take my son back home and go back to work, then, later in the day, I receive a call from the imaging center. Can he come tomorrow, for his images? Yes! And technology is amazing! They get his pictures made and even put them on an ordinary disc, so that I can hand carry them to the neurosurgeon's office, which I immediately do. And I can even have the disc, myself, once the doc looks at the scans and x-rays. Wow. Records we can keep, that won't be destroyed, in some future place and time.

The receptionist is amazed that we got the images done so quickly and tells me to call Monday to let her know if he has court, that day, for sure. If not, she will schedule him to come in so that we can talk about the images. We still have to receive the radiologist's report, and hopefully that will be available by Monday. We're down to the wire here. In one swift movement, we've managed to get most everything taken care of, with regards to having a serious look at his abscess, something that would worry a mother, while her son is in prison, afraid that he wouldn't be taken seriously, there, and be denied proper medical care. Not because of an abscess, mind you... but because of what that abscess could mean, due to the location. I've called the other neurologist's office and cancelled the upcoming appointment that would have come way too late. Now we get word that his court date will not be Monday, but the Thursday following that Monday. Thank the powers that be! Now we will know everything that we need to know, before he goes off to prison, as the neurosurgeon's office sets us up an appointment for Monday morning.

I've been like a chicken with my head chopped off the last few days. No, make that the last couple of weeks. For every move we make, I must call the public defender's office. I must have paper work and addresses, in hand, that they must see, showing where my son is going, so that his assistant can fax it to the monitor company, ahead of time. But this is how it always goes: I call the pd office, and his assistant isn't available. I'm forced to leave a message. I ask her to call to let me know she's sent the fax. I call the monitor company, they don't have the fax. I call the pd office, she's still not available. I finally reach the assistant, she says she will fax the stuff (if it's not the end of the day, as is often the case, and the office is already closed)... but, wait... on the day of movement, I call the monitor company, just to be certain, and they say, "We see he is moving, but we don't have a fax authorizing this movement." What???? If it's not that, then it goes like this, "Could you please fax this information over to the pd's office, for us?" "Oh sure, no problem," we're told. After that, I'm then calling the pd's office, to find if they rec'd the fax, but of course, the assistant isn't available. No problem, I'll call the monitor company, "No, we still haven't rec'd anything." Can you feel my pain? Late Friday, after the neurosurgeon has already closed office, for the day, the pd assistant finally calls to say she has not rec'd the fax, from the surgeon's office, indicating his upcoming appointment on Monday. This of course, means that the monitor company has not rec'd a fax, either, showing his intended movement on Monday. It will be ok... I just don't understand why nothing seems to go smoothly. I work for a living... yet, I am doing this stuff, all day long, in between extreme busyness at my work place. I have been highly stressed, to say the very least.

Why doesn't my son take care of these things? For one, we have found that we get more response from the pd's office, when I call. Either they are just less responsive, to him, for whatever reason... or they're getting my agitated drift, as a stressed out mother, and know I mean business (and yes, it's very hard to keep my cool, but somehow I manage, though the stress does seep through). As well, I know my son won't keep on these things, he will give up and nothing will happen. His message might go like this, "Please call." No information, no sense of urgency. Just like failing to tell the ER doc about the previous shunt location, being in the location of the abscess.

All I can say is this... if/when we find that his abscess is nothing, beyond a simple abscess, then I will be jubilant! And I won't worry, the whole time he's in prison, that he may be under attack of cancer, once again. Perhaps that simple knowledge will, somehow, take the, otherwise, wicked edge off his upcoming future days for the next few years. On the other hand, I could have been saved a lot of grief, had the abscess, simply, not have appeared. I wondered why they didn't lance the abscess, and the ER doc said it wasn't about to do that in the ER, that the neurosurgeon should be the one to make that decision, given his previous medical history and the location. He even indicated there could be all sorts of things, causing the abscess, like a piece of plastic, or something, he indicated. Which led me to recall something which I'd read in his previous medical records... they had, surprisingly, suctioned out pieces of bone... but I was unclear as to why this would be considered a surprise. In any case, I'm glad they didn't lance it in the ER, considering how staph infections are transmitted in those places. And Monday could not come soon enough.

The other possibility is, what if it's returned. The cancer. If it has, perhaps we can manage to get his surgery before he goes off to the big house. That he will get great care and family will be able to visit, easily. The pd seems to think the judge just wants to get this case off the doc, the reason he wouldn't request a change of date, to insure that my son could be seen by the neurologist, when he first thought my son's court date was going to be Monday... they don't care about my son's medical condition... and they don't care about a grieving mother. I couldn't even get him to consider requesting, not a later court date, but, perhaps, a later "report" date, for when he would actually start serving his time... until we can get all the medical information we need, to make an informed decision. So, the pd wouldn't work with us there... but the powers that be stepped in, instead... restoring my faith in some things, even if only a little. Faith, in my past, was not something I had to ask for... it was, previously, something which was, simply, "just there"... empowered by the evidence of things that were set before me... then it was like, the music just died...

I feel like thumbing my nose at the pd... for where he wouldn't go the extra mile, for us, the Universe did. It felt, to me, that it wasn't so much that the judge might want to get his case off the docs... but, rather, that the pd wanted to get this case over with. And if a medical condition still exists, that needs immediate care, I do feel consideration will be given to this, before he's taken away. I can only pray.