Some of My Favorite Things... Hearts, Hearts... and Things That Fill The Heart

I love hearts. These are a few of mine... along with a sprinkling of other things, that remain dear to my own heart. Let me tell you about them, one by one.

Right off the bat, I love the large one, because it is a beautiful rendition of deep, rich earth. I feel warmth, immediately, when my eyes are bathed in the vivid swirling colors of Her beautious expression... whichever way the wind blows, the earth shifts, the energy moves, is present in this one. There is dark, there is Light... there is duality, and there is unison of those two polar opposites. What is not to Love? It is the hand print of our Creator... it is the echo of you... and me. It is US. It is WE. It is Love.

To the right of the large one is one whose color filled my senses. Inhale oceans of blue, touched by the blush of gentle pink, gently lending way to lavender clouds...

Then there is the pink and black one that I wear as a necklace, it's colors very striking to me, another rich in the beauty to be found in the depth of it's vivid co-mingling colors, such opposites in perfect unison... and the beautiful amethyst one that I also wear as a necklace. Amethyst is my birthstone, and this one seems to particularly attract people's attention, it's so beautiful, but the chain broke that I wore it with and I can't find another that will go through that tiny little hole that's been drilled thru it. Time. I will. I miss wearing it, it's such a warm and gentle expression. To the left of that one is a smooth translucent bluish-green/purple tourmaline, that's great for carrying in your pocket.

The rest have stories all their own, but connected to one another. An event that flew through my life so fast that I didn't have time to blink. As it made it's way out, the pull and strain of wanting to go with it, as it exited, almost like a fast riding comet - stage left - caused near unbearable, extreme, intense, heart crunching pain. "Come with me," all the voices said, over and over in my gone-mad head. Now, it's almost as if it didn't happen, but having left a deep void that, thus far, has not been filled. I think I know that it never will be. I think I'm ok with that, too. I'm just left with the echo of, "Wait a minute! That's not even fair! I didn't even have time to..... " ad infinitum."

The balloon got away, into the skies, outside the parameters of this great green Earth. I chased it, like the scene in Mission To Mars. I went as far as I could go, when my silver cord would carry me no further, though I did try... and all I could do was watch, while "what was" slowly drifted away, into utter physical extinction. I had to watch the face turn to ice, crack and disintegrate, when the warmth of the earth was far from reach, and a saving breath could be breathed no more.

Nothing to be done with a loosed helium balloon, but watch it fly further and further away, caught up in the current, till it becomes a tiny speck in the sky... and then it's gone.

But, just because I can't see it, does that mean it does not exist? I think not. What ever was, always is... just in some other realm and form. And that's the hard part. Acceptance, when something falls outside our comfort zone, falls outside our realm of familiarity, our realm of expertise... or into a realm of ineptness, as it were. When we are forced to use "other" senses that sometimes don't work, nor make us even a little bit happy, comparatively speaking.

The end of life as we know it, but not the end. Just a quick adjustment. Just a little pin prick, but the pain takes so long to go away.

Aside from the five hearts that I've already mentioned, that leaves a near-white alabaster one (at least I think it's alabaster) that's cracked nearly into on the other side. This heart used to be a beautiful, albeit artificial, deep blue, with yellow softly blending into the center. Then the soft rose quartz one, complete with chip, from taking a few turns in the clothes dryer. Yep, I used to carry that one in my pocket, too. It's been around, even lost for a time.

Those were our Hearts. His, faded and cracked, and now all color gone. But, I remember when he was Blue, because he loved the blues and he loved the coolness of the color blue... and I was Sunny, and Sunny sat right smack in the middle of his Heart, as bright as yellow could be... and together we were Sunny Blue. I bought it for him, it was a surprise. I didn't know, then, that he would take the name Sunny Blue, nor did he know of my surprise. What a perfect gift. And the rose quartz, he would bring to me, as a token of his own love. I remember, once, I lost it. It got mixed up in the bed sheets, and was gone for days. I cried, because I felt that it meant I was not taking good care of his Heart. What a relief when it returned, but I don't suppose I did any better, afterwards, though I really and truly tried. It's chipped now, been around, damaged like my own, but precious to me, all the same. It became chipped after he left this realm. Perhaps I shouldn't have chosen a false colored Heart for him, perhaps I should have taken more immediate notice when the color began to fade. He placed it on the porch railing, to purify it in the sun. When did the crack start? I don't rightly recall. I do remember noticing "the color was fading from his heart"... and I knew that there was nothing that I could do, it just was. Or was there? Was there something that I could have done?

There's a bit of amethyst crystal, from a long time friend, at just the right time. She hadn't a clue, but I did. That's all that mattered, you know. She listened to her Heart and she touched my own, by doing so. It was part of the amethyst shield, with the 7 pointed star, that had came back to me... the one that I sent him away with, for safe passage... now, what about the other 6 parts? I'd been searching for so long. When I finally found a 7 pointed star, do you think that I bought it? No, I did not. It was not amethyst. It would never mean the same. There was special meaning, between he and I, from a long ago dream. Now, it's time had come and gone. Sure, I went back to retrieve it, later, but it was too late... it, too, was gone.

There's a tiny bird egg, miraculously found in the nest that sat in my window seal, bringing warmth and comfort to my heart, as much as could make it's way, at least, and badly needed. I'd already looked there, there wasn't an egg. Then there was, with a tiny circle in the nest, opened up, like from a finger that twirled and moved the straw around, just for me to see. It was important, because it was about "new birth". When one door closes, another one opens... even if it is in another realm.

A small silver locket, emblazened with a heart, a gift from my son, and holding a tiny piece of lace curtain... but not just any lace curtain, this one with a few drops of his red plasma. This was a charm for a bracelet but, as is the case with many things in my life, it became broken and now can no longer be worn. Some might say it was time for it to come off, and when I couldn't/wouldn't remove it, it found it's way off, on it's own.

A small dragonfly necklace, made by a friend, but the leather cord on that snapped, too! He was my dragonfly. I was the butterfly. She made it with love, and filled it with special oils and incenses. My dragonfly has flown away, and my butterfly wings are singed and heavily laden with ice.

There's a tiny crystal that found it's way into my life, one special day, as I sat by the froggy pond, looking for a sign... and this one, with a rainbow, just to remind me, that there's still a rainbow inside of me, though it's very hard to see... and there's a very tiny smokey quartz "skull"... isn't he cute??? That's all, he's just cute, though there is memory there, too.

That leaves only a white Fender guitar pick, and two small owl feathers. How, you might wonder, are all of these things connected?

Owls, they can guide us through the long and desolate night, you know. But these two were just babies.