Is The Sun Goin' Down or Is The Sun Comin' Up?

At the end of the month I will no longer be employed at the place where I have been employed for 5 years, now.

Twice, the company, that I have been employed by, has been bought out by another company. This last time, however, we had to actuallly interview for the positions that we now fill. We knew that the company would downscale, but we didn't think they would touch us, as our jobs are critical, since we are a Fort Gordon support project, supporting the troops. I should have suspected, when I saw strange things happening around the office. There were some who did fear for their jobs, simply they had been personally hounded by supervision, and nearly run into the ground. Union was of no help. Our supervisor used to be our shop steward, before she became management. It had seemed that her friendship with the Union president had continued, as he often made visits to her office, when no one else was present but the two. It was felt, by some, that he was giving her guidance on how to legally proceed with f'ing us royally. One thing was for sure, she had always given preference to those of her color, and to her personal friends, that she socialized with, outside the office. I was shocked, however, to find that I was on the list of those who would not return at the end of the month. This, at such an untimely place in my life. Or is it?

I think I already know who will fill what spots. And I have no doubt, whatsoever, that my supervisor was a part of my demise, in that office. But what doesn't seem right is that there will be another who will take my place, who does not have my experience, or knowledge... nor ability... simply because the supervisor would like to protect her personal friends.

My supervisor has always been a bully. And the co-worker who is senior, has been right beside her, bullying along with her. It was even overheard that the supervisor told the senior girl to, "be hard on her." <<< not me, another co-worker) There was unfair practice going on, at all times. But, what can one do when they are already fearing for their jobs, and management and union are in bed together?

I loved my job. I hated the work atmosphere. I always wanted to be some place else, but found it inconvenient to get outta there.

It feels kinda nice to know that they will actually be paying me leave. And I can actually leave and move on to something that makes more sense, in my life, than living the stress and turmoil that continually spins around in that office. And good ridence! It will be funny to see how much work is accomplished... and how half ass everything will be when there are those left who really have no concerns for doing the job entirely right.

I was the sort that would work over, on my own time... without pay!... just so that I could keep my numbers rolling, during peak season. And the sort who went the extra mile, to help the customer, while management would say that I wanted to help the customer too much... and that I asked too many questions. It soon became obvious that even management did not know all the answers to my questions, when I was told, "Look it up, you're supposed to know that." Sure I was, but we had no professional training, just quick info, during peak season, when it was very hard to learn the regulation and the powers that be liked pulling their power trips, just because they could. I was also the sort who worked over, in the beginning, in the reception job, just to make sure the filing got done, at the end of the day, while those before me would let it pile up on top of the file cabinet for weeks at a time... making it difficult to find paperwork, that we needed to reference sometimes daily. Was I ever thanked? Not once. I was only told that I was 'on my own' after hours. Yet, another... of same color as my supervisor... and long time friend... would be offered a 'fast $50' for volunteering to learn another position. This person was given all the free time and space that they needed, for learning their new job, while others were constantly pushed and pushed and downgraded, verbally. It was a sad situation.

My office was a place that was inconsitent from one customer to the next, simply because there was not consensous on how to read the regulations. I was often challenged on my interpretation, only to find that they had changed their mind (the powers that be) when the next time came around to use my judgement. And they'd even go so far as to say, "I never told you to do it like that." "Yes, you did," I'd say. "No I didn't," they would reply back. And this was the way things fell, time after time. It became prudent to keep tight notes... and always... always... notes inside the folders, to be read, "per so and so," in order to cover one's ass.

What was even more sickening was the senior girl would rant and rave about how she could do twice as many applications as the rest of us. Well, I quess she might be able to pull more numbers when she came in an hour later than the rest of us, thus being in the building an hour later, when everyone else had left ('cept those times when I was sitting there, beside her, working over) and she could stay as long as she liked and no one knew when she left. This business of staying late was put a stop to, when we were complaining to the union about not being allowed to work over, with pay, in order to complete our work. It was not an official complaint, mind you... just casual comment, as he was strolling through one afternoon. It had always remained that we were not allowed to make overtime, but for the occassions when we had to complete deployments, that had to be done, no matter what. But the 'hour late girl' was still pulling her own hours, still pulling her numbers. And those who had been working over, freely, were not allowed to be in the building after hours, anymore. Of course the 'hour late girl' had to work beyond her 8 hours, she spent half of her daytime hours in the supervisor's office chitty chatting.

Another sickening part is that each time I would learn something new I would share it with the senior girl. She always made it perfectly clear that she had no interest in changing the way she did something... because she had been doing it this or that way for 20 years, and she wasn't going to change it now, she would say. And there were lost folders, continually, in the office. But, my suggestion for having others sign for the folders went denied... because the senior girl objected. That's right, it was mine that often went missing, and the senior girl noticed. It was also the senior girl who sorted through my count copies and threw out, at her discretion, what she did not want in my count box... and then had the nerve to say that we were putting too much importance on numbers... that numbers didn't count. If that was the case, then why was there a weekly report that was divided up by name? Funny, July's monthly report (that I had accidentally found lying around) showed that I had completed 239 pieces of work... while the senior girl had completed only 175??? It's simply not what you know... but WHO you know! It took me a long time to figure out, but senior girl was very good at setting up scenarios, by going to this desk and saying this... and then going to that desk and saying that... and then back to the supervisor. She had all bases covered. And management was always by her side, just as evil and ignorant in the ways of her manipulations. But, I began holding my folders out till the end of the day, instead of putting them in the box, during the day, to be pilfered through, by others, and possibly become 'lost'... and I began counting my own 'count copies' and putting a sticky on them, with my name attached. Funny how my folders stopped coming up missing... and my 'count copy' numbers came up and were never off, thereafter. Even then, supervision sometimes felt to challenge me on my methods of keeping track. I had begun keeping a log of each and every folder that went through my hands and landed in the box. I was told that I had better make sure that keeping that log was not taking away from my work time. You see, it's always been much easier for others to blame another for anything that is lost or off. The counselor who did the work is the responsible one, should anything turn out to be missing (even though it make have passed into several hands, afterwards). At least I knew, in my conscious, that I KNEW I had placed the folder in the box... and that I had not lost it. And I had, in the past, even found folders that others had lost... and blamed me for... and they had another's initials on it, to prove that I was not the last to have touched that file. Nobody wants accountability in that office... they only want slack-ed-ness and the ability to blame. Never was a suggestion of mine used, that might make us each accountable, for our own errose, or that might even make a task quicker and easier.

Sooooo... it's hard, at this age, to find a good job, that pays the bills, when education is limited (or at most, the degree never uitilized, thus no experience in that area)... and the body is weaker than it used to be. And I know that when one door closes another one opens... but I haven't quite gotten there, yet. It's still a bit shocking. And I have to work past the anger at what has just transpired.

All in all, I believe the Sun is just now Rising.