Driving My Own Karma... Or Is That Boat???.

Was scheduled to drive my first public boat this weekend... two, actually... and two next weekend. Two music boats, and two Sunday cruises. This weekend got called off. More time needed docking. Can't travel up to the headgates alone, either. The current is swifter there... docking is more diffult. Worse than that, it seemed, was having to travel up under a huge water pipe with little clearance on either side. Would be a breeze, but that logs and trees are always clogging up the entrance to going underneath. Turns out it's a zig-zag, really. Going up was a breeze... coming back down was the sqeeze, with the current carrying me. I went faster going up, to have more control of my steering (only 12 horse power for heaven sake) and made it beautifully. He said I should have gone slower... so, coming back down, with the current, I did slow down... but steering was not easy, dodging trees. It's 65 ft, the boat... 13 ft. wide. I am able to pass through the bulkhead gate beautifully... which is 14 feet wide. There, we have to watch for kids jumping into the water. Practiced docking over and over, today. Did just fine. I was doing fine before the water was drained... somewhere between then and now I lost my touch... perhaps confidence... what with all that went down at that place. But, letting by gones be by gones... and moving on.

I think I finally ended my relationship, too. He said, "I haven't been treating you differently. I know you think I have, but I haven't been." My comment was, "That's right, you haven't been treating me any differently, at all, you've been treating me the same way you always have, and I'm not putting up with it anymore." Ha!

I'm renting a canoe this weekend... by myself. Gonna canoe a small stretch of water... feels exhilarating to think about it... and on my territory... my own stomping grounds. Apart from him. I lost my world in his world... it was always about his own. Now, ti's about my own.